“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”—Khalil Gibran (The Prophet) - one of my favourite poets
Here’s something I drafted in early April but never got around to publishing:
When I was applying for universities I received a letter to tell me I wasn’t going to be given a place at what was at that time the only one I wanted to study at. The wind was taken out of my sails and I did nothing for two full days. I was completely cathartic. I’d never been crushed like that before and only on the third day did I disclose the contents of the letter to my family and friends. It took me this long to accept that the plan I’d layed wouldn’t be played out and pretend to have accepted it. I had a calculated response to it. The most important thing I took from that experience was to be prepared for things not going my way so if it did happen again I wouldn’t be ‘grieving’ for such an extended period of time.
Five years later, I spent a day stunned at the end of a relationship. I’d made an awful decision to trust someone who I should have known better than to trust. I’ve recently realised we are no longer in touch and it’s been playing on my mind. The only reason for this seems to be that I’ve outlived my purpose. I believe we have to trust people in our lives but as we progress it’s far easier to be deceived. This can prove a problem. I’ve had trouble trusting people since because, although I was only hit for one day, it still happened and it wasn’t a pleasant experience.
I’ve recently found I’m in a position where I have a decision to make and I can’t do it. I’m either wrong and have a lot to gain or I’m right and have a lot to lose. Gain and be wrong or lose and be right. This is a no win. I’d rather be wrong but don’t think I am. There is a big risk and by the time I get to roll the dice on this it may well be too late.
I ended up being right (hate it when that happens!). Such is life…